Chivalrous Gentlemen…an endangered Species

I was recently sitting and listening to my boy Frank Sinatra when I started thinking about growing up in 1940s America. Back in those good old days men got to wear awesome three piece suits with snazzy hats and took their girls out to dance on Friday nights in large halls where brass bands played the night away.  Seriously how cool would it be to get dressed up, grab your gal, and go out and dance at a place like that? Furthermore, despite women still not being truly equal in American society, I do have to say that the morals and values held by most men in the 1940s-1950s tended to be more rooted in chivalry and reflected the true meaning of what it meant to be a Gentlemen…something I feel is all but lost on society.  Today when I hold open doors for a girl, half the time she is either taken aback due to not expecting a regular Joe to do such a thing, which usually results in a polite smile and a thank you, or completely indifferent to the action as if it as lost all meaning and significance to them… something even more troubling than the lack of expectations in the first scenario. Another thing that recently caught me by surprise was when I was having a conversation with a female from my building and half way though the conversation she stopped and commented on how I was not only actually interested in her conversation but that I looked her in the eyes while we spoke and didn’t let my eyes and thoughts wonder.  Last time I checked there was no other way to have a conversation… and if eye contact during a conversation is becoming an exception rather than a rule I fear for our generation of men! Has chivalry simply ceased to be taught at home? I know it was taught in my house and sometimes beat in for emphasis… either way every woman I encounter generally comments on my upstanding behavior. To which I always respond…. its how my mother raised me.

On the flip side of the coin in addition to the serious lack of emphasis on chivalry there is a SERIOUS oversight when it comes to acceptable behavior of a woman in society. Honestly, some of the behaviors girls pull today would have caused them to be crucified in the 1950s!  On the other hand, some of today’s raging toolboxes* (with whom women have to deal) are worse than the wife beaters of the 1920s.  I mean it seems more and more these days that girls go after the a**holes in society, and until recently I couldn’t figure out why! According to a source within the female society girls go after this type because they know exactly what they are getting into. See this type of man is going to mistreat the girl he’s with, and because of this, girls never open up emotionally. Thus girls cannot get hurt with a tool because they know the tool will always act in self-interest,…always putting himself first.  Basically there are no surprises. Now on the flipside, when a girl encounters a nice guy, she tends to shy away because of the fear of getting really hurt.  See girls open up emotionally to nice guys, which makes it way more painful when things don’t work out. In essence girls like tools because they cannot hurt them whereas a nice guy can shake a girl to her very core.

Nice guys finish last…again… and if this wasn’t bad enough, more and more guys are figuring out that if they act like a tool and treat girls like shit that they have a much higher chance of getting with them. Hit it and quit it seems to be the new motto rather than a Gentlemen never kisses and tells.   Sorry for being so blunt but it’s the truth.

On the bright side, I have had the pleasure of meeting true Ladies and Gentlemen here at Marquette, some of higher standards and morals than I, and it gives me hope. Hope that not all is lost, and that Jersey Shore will not become the standard for Men and Women in society.  To my Gentlemen out there please continue acting with upstanding behavior and to the Ladies I ask no less of you…. keep your men honest and treat them with the respect they deserve. Chivalry is a two way street!

23 Skidoo

*Raging toolbox: a male within society that is such a tool that they are said to comprise every tool in the box and are thus classified as a raging toolbox. (Also see king of the tools)